


Attack of the Zombies

by The_Storybooker



Category: One Piece
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Canon Compliant, Food Fight, Gen, Not Your Usual Zombies, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-07-17
Updated: 2007-07-17
Packaged: 2019-05-19 06:59:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14868933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Storybooker/pseuds/The_Storybooker
Summary: Luffy throws Sanji's food overboard. But he has a justification.





	Attack of the Zombies

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to FF.net in 2007 based on the following challenge:
> 
> Must contain the word 'renege', a reference to Thinking Over by Dana Glover, four movie references, an ice cream sundae, and zombies.
> 
> Yes, the movie references are dated, because it was 2007 and even then I was behind the times. ;)
> 
> Presumably this is set sometime just before or just after Skypeia. (Yeah, 11 years is long enough to have to make presumptions about my own work.)

All was normal aboard the Going Merry that day. Absolutely nothing was out of the ordinary. Usopp was inventing something of some sort while Chopper sat beside him, watching curiously and occasionally making suggestions for chemicals and food products to combine. Sanji was swooning over Robin as she drank the coffee that he had prepared. Nami was tending to her orange trees and she humming peacefully. Zoro was attempting to nap on deck.

Yup, everything was perfectly normal. As normal as an island being located among the clouds, supported by only a giant screw.

So why were Usopp and Chopper feeling so restless? Why were Sanji's words less than poetic as he swooned? Why did Nami feel that she would go mad if she didn't hum? Why couldn't Zoro sleep? Why did Robin feel that the atmosphere was indescribably thick?

Luffy was the reason. The young captain, usually a ball of energy, was sitting silently on the ship's figurehead. He was obviously lost deep in his thoughts. That was not normal. In fact, it was anything but normal. The crew had been under the impression that their captain did not even know how to think, so it was very unnerving that he was thinking so hard now. And with his silence, the usually loud, chaotic ship was very quiet. It felt even more odd than the time that Smoker, Marine though he was, had reneged on the obligation to capture them.

It was even worse that this had been going on for two hours straight. Zoro was getting annoyed: he was behind on his requisite 18 hours of sleep per day. Usopp and Chopper were beginning to feel like they would explode if something didn't happen soon. And the other three just wished that Luffy would do something.

Suddenly, Luffy jumped off the figurehead. His crewmembers' heads snapped around to watch him in anticipation. Usopp hardly realized that he was pouring Tabasco onto Chopper. Even the ever-calm Robin looked around.

But Luffy hardly seemed to notice. He walked over to the kitchen, and the crew heard the distinctive sound of someone rummaging around for something that was nowhere to be found. They all waited, staring at the kitchen door curiously. Even Sanji was more curious than angry at the captain for obviously raiding his kitchen. And he, unlike some cooks, was not the type to let many enter his kitchen and stay there, even if they did intend to help him.

After a few minutes, Luffy exited the kitchen and stared accusingly at the cook.

"We don't have ice cream," he said, glaring. Sanji blinked in surprise.

"Of course not. The freezer broke last night." Luffy gave an angry 'humph!' at this reply.

"What were you doing, Luffy?" Chopper asked bluntly, curiosity getting the better of the young reindeer-boy. Luffy looked around at Chopper, and blinked a few times.

"Thinking over," he replied. Usopp was quick to ask what they all wanted to know.

"Thinking over what?" As he asked the question, the lying marksman's eyes were intense with curiosity.

"I want an ice cream sundae," he said, turning back to Sanji after a few minutes of silence. There were a few more moments of silence.

"You were thinking for two hours that you wanted an ice cream sundae?" Usopp asked, slowly and cautiously.

"No," Luffy replied in surprise without a moment of hesitation. "What'd make you think that?"

"Luckily for you," Sanji said, "I started making ice cream with the last of the ice. I'll go make you a sundae now." He left, and Luffy returned to the figurehead, where he resumed staring down into the sea.

"Sanji!" Luffy suddenly called. "You'd better hurry up!"

"Coming, coming…" grumbled the cook, who tended to seem slightly reluctant when preparing food for the men. Finally, he walked out with a bowl in his hand and brought it to the captain. This was not normal, but they were all still quite curious to know what had occupied the seemingly mindless captain's mind for so long.

When Sanji reached Luffy with the sundae, Luffy glanced at it, took it, and emptied it into the sea. The crew flinched. One did not do something like that to Sanji's food unless one was tired of living. However, Sanji was staring in horror down at the sea, and did not move to scold Luffy. The two of them stared intently down at something, Luffy looking amused and Sanji looking horrified.

"We need more chocolate sauce," Luffy said suddenly, looking up at Sanji.

The crew fully expected Sanji to snap something about not giving food to anyone who appreciated it so little that he threw it into the sea, but to their surprise, the cook went bolting back to the kitchen, coming back shortly afterwards with a pail of what appeared to be chocolate sauce.

"What should I do with it?" asked Sanji.

"Just pour it so that it gets on them as much as you can," Luffy replied.

The other five had realized by now that they were missing something. They all got up curiously to approach the front of the boat and look into the sea.

Chopper shouted in fright; Nami screamed; Usopp was frightened to the point of being speechless; Zoro stared; Robin blinked.

About five decapitated, dead-looking bodies were clinging to the bottom of the boat, attempting and failing to climb up.

"Wha-what- what are th-those?" Usopp stuttered.

"Zombies, it seems," Robin replied smoothly, pausing to take a sip of her coffee. "Unlike the cursed undead, they do not live as skeletons in the moonlight and normal humans otherwise. Their bodies continue to-"

"Robin!" Nami said in horror, covering her ears. "Don't talk like that as though it's all a movie! And how can you drink while you watch this?"

"He asked. And there are more gruesome things in the world." Robin shrugged and took another sip from her mug.

The chocolate sauce that Luffy and Sanji were pouring on them, however, seemed to cause them to evaporate. The more they touched the sauce, the more their bodies sizzled, and the more they went up in steam. By the time the sauce was gone, nothing was left of them.

Sanji wiped his forehead with a sleeve.

"You spent two hours trying to figure out what would get rid of them, then?" Zoro asked wearily, eyeing the sea as though he expected more to spring out of nowhere.

"No," Luffy replied. "I waited for them to get close enough." He scowled. "They're really slow."

"How did you know to use chocolate sauce to defeat them?" Nami asked curiously. Luffy turned to look at her as though she had just asked him whether he really wanted to become Pirate King.

"Those things were disgusting," he told her, looking like he thought that it was ridiculous that he should have to explain something so simple. "Of course something yummy'd get rid of them. Sanji! I want a real sundae now! Make it bigger than that other one, too!"

Nami sighed. She knew that it was hopeless to get a word of sense out of their captain. Zoro grunted in annoyance. Chopper and Usopp exchanged an uneasy, puzzled look. Sanji sighed in resignation. Robin, of course, went on sipping her coffee as though nothing had happened.


End file.
